Do
Not Assume IT’S A DATE!
Before
we even get into the Do’s and Don’ts of the first few dates….
Lets get one thing straight, (no pun intended), first and
foremost DO NOT ASSUME IT’S A DATE! Unless you have specifically
let her know your dating intentions…. and or you have both
expressed an attraction. Period.
Lesbians
hang out with and are friends with lesbians… and if you
ask her if she would like to go get something to eat or
to meet you at the bar, she is probably assuming you are
hanging out as friends.
Assuming
that this gal is hot for you and that you are making a love
connection is thee biggest mistake lesbians
make. Believe it or not, while many women may find you completely
irresistible, some women, (lesbians in particular) have
very defined attractions. You may be the most gorgeous femme
on the planet, but that doesn’t mean squat to a gal that
loves stone butch daddies.
Unless,
you have both expressed an attraction, or you have told
her specifically that you want to take her out on a date
DO NOT ASSUME THAT IT’S A DATE AND DO NOT ASSUME THAT SHE
IS ATTRACTED TO YOU.
Ok…
so now you got the date…… You have asked her out formally
and you know that she thinks you are HOT! What are you going
to talk about….? What topics should you avoid all together?
Here
are 12 tips on dating do’s and don’ts.
Tip
1. Don’t do dutch!
If
you asked her out, you should be obliged to pay for the
date. If she would like to pay for coffees at Starbucks
or a round of drinks at the club later that’s fine… (and
only if she offers) but if you asked her
out and expect her to pay she may think you are a cheap
skate and not the shiniest penny in her pocket.
Now,
there is an exception to this rule…. Some butch babes would
never allow their femme dates to pay for the date… in that
case, let her pay only when she
insists. It can be insulting to her if you
pay.
Tip
2. Telling Jokes
While
telling jokes may be a great ice breaker and very entertaining
at the 4 th of July Barbecue or the bar, not everyone gets
all your witty jokes. While your joke about Grandma having
hemorrhoids may be funny to your buddies, you have no idea
if she may find it offensive.
Tip
3. Excessive talk about work… is
boring!
Ok,
you love your job (or even worse you hate it), that’s terrific!
But she has no idea and probably doesn’t care a whole heck
of a lot about the deal that you sold, or your fork lift
that you drive that has mechanical problems…. or that the
old man next to you is a pain in the butt. It’s good to
tell her what you do, but keep it brief.
Tip
4. Going on and on about your favorite TV show
or rock band…
Take
care to avoid discussing television programs and popular
movies at excessive length. A shared chuckle about
last night's Tonight Show is good, but your lengthy
reenactment of Monty Python and the Holy Grail
is probably not as funny to her as it might be to your little
nephew.
Tip 5.
People she doesn't know
There
are many ways you can harm the progress of your date if
you bring up people she has never met. If it's someone you
admire, whether pal or acquaintance, she will either start
to judge you based on her opinion of the person you are
struggling to describe to her, or she will become self-analyzing
and withdrawn, wondering if she stacks up beside that person.
If it's someone you hate, like the devious clerk in the
plumbing section at the Hardware Store, there's a good chance
that you will seem bitter, edgy, anxious -- in short, a
flaw of yours will become apparent. And it may bore her
to death.
Tip
6. Your extreme
love
of your domestic pet
Dog
breeds sometimes make for a nice, light conversation, but
are more suited to two neighbors out walking their dogs.
Dates don't need to hear about how cute your dog was as
a puppy with the such-and-such thing it would do, nor will
she think you are attractive because you have a reportedly
adorable pet. Though many lesbians love their pets, it often
bears the slight connotation that their human relationships
are insufficient. You don't want your date to see any glimpse
of your problems with humanity.
Tip
7. Sex
Bringing
up sex on the first date is like praising your favorite
bartender at a job interview. Don't get ahead of yourself.
Come to the realization that she will not be impressed by
your "confidence," "curiosity," or "experience."
And NEVER EVER talk about how great your sex life was with
an ex… it will intimidate her, leave a bad taste in her
mouth and if you end up having a relationship with this
women… your torrid stories of sex with the ex will haunt
you terribly. She will possibly think you are childish,
insecure or perverted. Do not attempt to take the initiative
and strike up a "mature" conversation about sex,
as she will not likely view it as such. That said, if you
get several strong, unmistakable, sexually suggestive hints
from your date, then by all means grab the reins and charge
ahead with the innuendo.
Tip
8. Sports
Though
it is thoughtful of you to want to share the magic of playoff
hockey with her, realize that she may not want to go there.
Your knowledge of baseball statistics will not make her
think you are intelligent. Your original critique of trading
practices in Major League Baseball does not make you sound
like a CEO. You can't talk her into loving your home team.
Find another topic.
Tip
9. Ex-girlfriends!!!!!
Avoid
any mention of exes. This is crucial for many reasons, not
the least of which is that you can end up revealing your
own flaws while ripping into your ex-girlfriend. Your date
doesn't want to know that you cheated on your last girlfriend
or that another girlfriend annoyed you by calling 16 times
a day. What you need, at this early stage of the game, is
a clean slate to forge a relationship upon; if your new
love hears about your dating foibles, she will likely lose
interest. You want her to think that you have severed
all emotional ties with the past and have
moved on in a constructive, mature manner. And if you haven’t
severed those ties… you probably shouldn’t be dating. If
she asks... steer away from the topic.
Tip
10. Health problems
Your
various ailments hold no interest to the average woman.
Don't get misled into thinking you will win her sympathy
by telling her you have chronic heartburn, accessible injuries
like a broken leg, or other illnesses. Likewise, detailing
your uncle Larry's colon surgery is not the way to set the
mood during dinner. Keep away from all things painful, oozing,
urinary or dilated!
Tip
11. Religion
Self
explanatory…. While it’s good to know where you both stand,
be careful and be open minded when discussing religion.
Tip
12. Be fun, be creative and
be positive!
There
is nothing sexier than a dating someone whom loves life
and is free of hang ups. Think of unique things to do with
her…. A hike in the mountains, a picnic, a romantic walk
through the City or going to watch a jazz band. Beware…
the bar is not the greatest place to get to know someone.
Good
luck!
