December
2004
Keston
Huntington
Keston
takes her first cruise
Recently
when I was approached by my wifes family to take a Holiday
Cruise, while not having a lot of interest in cruising,
yet being the dutiful wife I reluctantly agreed. Mind you
the cruise that we took was by no means a gay oriented cruise
but it was geared towards family and having a 10 year old
son we decided on taking a 7 day Mexican Riviera Cruise
with Princess Cruise lines.
The
ship was nothing short of AMAZING. It was just beautiful
and huge. There was plenty to do, from golf to jogging to
just laying out at the pool. While on a whole, I loved this
cruise that being said there were some things that were
not enjoyable.
This
was not a gay cruise, and we felt it!
First
and foremost this was again NOT A LESBIAN, LET ALONE GAY
CRUISE LINE! While we paid one third of the cost of
the same cruise itinerary than we would have a more Gay
Themed cruise, quite frankly I believe that we were the
only gay couple on board this monstrous ship. There were
no “friends of Dorothy”, I only saw one woman with a mullet
and she was with some odd looking man and to put it mildly,
I would not have felt comfortable being publicly ”out”,
so it was a closeted vacation which already sets for a “not
so good time”…. and honestly made me give greater thought
into the much higher prices of Olivia Cruise rates. Then
again though I would not have included my son on a lesbian
geared, thus more romantic cruise for my wife and
I.
Don’t
get me wrong, there were many gay males stewards and waiters
aboard (All working six days a week at 12 hours each day
mind you) and we were treated very nicely. The first hint
that we were on one straight cruise, should have been the
suggested attire. Formal wear required in print
for the ladies is “Cocktail Dress or Evening Gown”. While
we were told and all knew that pants suit was very acceptable,
no where in print is pant suit ever suggested for women.
I have no problem wearing dresses and high heels, and neither
does my wife that is unless I am told to. And I will tell
you that we both looked great in out evening gowns, however,
I was horrifically uncomfortable, to the point that I just
wanted the formal night to end. I also could’t help but
envy how fancy my son looked in his sharp “little suite”
and mostly, how comfortable he was.
What
to do, what to do!
Anyway,
all being said about it not being a gay cruise it was a
great family cruise and there is so much to do. One would
have to be very odd to not enjoy cruising. Where on earth
can you look at your window and watch the most stunning
scenery change as you go from port to port? What is
absolutely great about cruises is that you travel from destination
to destination without having to pack and unpack over and
over again, your bed is made twice a day (yes, twice a day)
you are left little chocolates on your pillow each night
and it is like having a mobile hotel room! Regardless of
what we all hear the rooms are not ridiculously small, they
are by no means roomy, but they are not tiny either.
Now the showers ARE tiny. Be careful while washing your
hair you may not be able to get your arms back down.
Even if you enjoy doing absolutely nothing you are going
to love cruises. You get pampered like a queen, free room
service, can lounge at one of many pools, sipping on Pina
Colada's, catch a comedy show or a show, shopping or be
more adventures with horse back riding on the beach or a
Pirate Ship tour! Oh yeah, almost forgot to mention,
the food!, the food, the food!
It
is easy to understand why people say cruises are about the
food, there is so much great gourmet food on cruise ships
and you can have everything on the menu of you wished. Expect
the finest dining experience of your entire life, and luckily
there are usually great gyms on board to help counter act
all of those glorious calories you are packing on.
Even
on your down time (which there is very very little of) you
are being spoiled with newly released movies ALL DAY LONG
in your room so you are guaranteed to enjoy Cruises even
if you do not leave your room! Of course there is the spa,
golf, bingo and the demonstrations that are often glorified
marketing ploys for you to spend mounds of money, but you
can overcome.
THINGS
TO BEWARE OF:
YOU ARE ENTERING
MARKETING HELL. If you hate sales pitches, you are
going to have to avoid every activity on the ship.
These people are some of the best Sales folks on the planet
and eary on you realize they MUST make comissions on all
add-ons they sell. You cannot even go to dinner without
being sold something, whether it be a fancy glassware or
a bottle of wine. When
you go to the Spa, expect to have sales pitches for $200
worth of lotions, you know "You deserve to spoil
yourself, Miss Huntington". I even ordered
coffee from a bartender who told me half joking that he
would not serve me coffee unless I ordered alcohol in it
to pay for it. No joke.
EMBARKATION: Was just awful. Leaving from LA, we checked
in at 10:30am (early) expecting that check in actually started
at noon . However at noon , nothing happened. At 1:00 they
came on the loud speakers explaining that they got it late
and were passing customs (blah, blah, blah) and that they
would begin check in soon. At 2pm they finally started checking
people in and all the LATE Platinum folks who were mossying
on in at the last minute were all checking in first, even
though the ship embarkation was SO late and others had waited
HOURS. And then people Handicap folks (with canes, limps
and coughs) were checking in first (very understandable)
but every single member of their families were checking
in with them and that was up to 17 people that I saw, meanwhile
senior citizens whom had waited hours still stand patiently,
while all these folks were aloud to take advantage of he
system. I finally, got onboard around 3:00pm .
LUGGAGE: We received our luggage sporadically and our hanging
luggage was SOAKING WET. Literally soaking wet, however
the bag had a plastic inside so our clothes seemed dry.
Weird? When we finally received our big suitcase, as we
were taking our clothes out we realized that the inside
frame of our tapestry suitcase was cracked! We called and
were told to take in to Passenger Services; we went to passenger
services, stood in a long non moving line for 20 minutes
and decided to come back later. Well, after that we started
finally having a good time and we forgot about the suitcase.
The final day when we were packing to go home pulled the
suitcase out of the closet and hard the pieces of the frame
like marbles in a empty can and decided to go ahead and
go to PS to complain. AGAIN waiting 20 minutes, went and
had breakfast then came back again but the line did move
this time. When we got up to the desk we were told we should
have complained the first day and that we should have waited
in the lines, that because we waited until the last day
there was nothing they would do about it. I asked "What?
Do you think we were jumping up and down on our suitcase
in that time, trying to break it in the last six days? ANYWAYS
that was pretty tacky as that suitcase was NEW.
ANYTIME DINING: Is NOT anytime dining. It is - make reservations
for every day on your first day as fast as you can- dining.
Unfortunately, I learned that after about day three when
everything but 8:30 pm reservations were available and ONLY
AVAILABLE at one or two restaurants only (mostly the Mexican
restaurant). Now 8:30 is for me, very late to eat a big
meal, but we did it. Finally I got a reservation at one
of the other restaurants that I was wanting to go to, (yes
at 8:30 as usual) but I was excited to be eating somewhere
else then the Mexican Restaurant and I walked up and they
couldn't find my reservation, so they sent me down to (you
got it) the Mexican restaurant! Funny thing too, when you
call to make reservations, the very first thing they ask
you is your room #, which makes me think they make reservations
based on financial status.
THE LINES: I was bumped out of line several times! Some
of the elderly folks are literally, sharks! If you go to
the buffet expect to have people pushing you out of line
and jumping in front of you as if they are starving and
the food isn't going to last. Even the casino lines for
the tournaments are mayhem. Lines on this cruise ship were
not at all organized. It was common in most events,
regardless if you are waiting for the slot machine tournement
or the vegetable carving demo, to be bumped further and
further back in line while less cooth folks walking straight
up to crowd the front and be admitted before folks who have
been waiting all along. Expect it.
DISEMBARK: Was another awful experience of waiting. you
have to get out of the room by 8:00am and stand around waiting
for disembark, which again was called in floors (I believe,
status) and we did not get off the ship until 12:30 ! Geez
Louise! I realize this may have nothing to do with Princess,
but Princess should do something to make this wait less
excruciating.
Other than that, the cruise was wonderful. The room was
always cleaned and cleaned twice a day, the waiting staff
was nothing short of amazing. Just impressive! The views
were wonderful and the activities were a lot of fun as well.
You know what... after all of that I would still take a
Princess Cruise again!
