Joanna
& Patty
Pat
& Irene
Dorothy
& Hallie
What
do these women have in common?
They
have been partners for over twenty years!
The
myth that gays cannot be faithful and stay in long-term
relationships is exactly that, a MYTH! LBO has had the opportunity
to meet many wonderful women in our adventures and to our
surprise, many of them had been with their partners for
ten, fifteen and twenty years. A relationship is a relationship
whether it is gay or straight. We all have our ups and downs,
but it is our commitment to each other that bonds our relationships
throughout the years.
Pat
& Irene have had been together 20 years, Dorothy and
Hallie have been together 23 years and Joanna & Patty,
have been together for 27
years, and all women still have an incredible “big” love
for one another. The love these women have and express for
each other does nothing short of bringing a tear to your
eye. It’s profound. It is inspiring. It is love.
So
what does it take? How did they or any couple stay together
for so long? Not surprisingly all of their answers to our
questions were similar.
Pat
& Irene
All
couples had fallen in love at a time when being a lesbian
was not as acceptable as today and they endured discrimination
from not only the public but within their own families.
Pat
has not talked to her father in years. “When my father
found out who Irene was to me, he told me, ‘Do not bring
that thing into my home’”. Pat &
Irene are also a biracial couple, which may have added to
their discrimination.
Pat
and Irene met at school. They both felt an attraction for
each other as they started to become friends. Pat spoke
of the first time Irene kissed her with a big smile on her
face, as if she were experiencing the moment over again.
Irene
has off and on had custody of three of her grandchildren.
She works and brings home the money, while Pat volunteered
to quit her job to stay home and raise Irene’s biological
grand babies. Irene’s grandchildren call Pat, “Momma” and
she speaks of her grandbabies with a pure love and pride,
“ They are as much my babies as they are Pats”.
After
20 years they still have a big passion
and desire
for each other. Pat says “I can’t wait for this woman
to come home and make love to me” and I look over
at Irene whom is beaming from ear to ear.
Joanna
& Patty
Joanna
& Patty are just as passionate about their relationship.
Both having endured being in heterosexual marriages, complete
with children and having to experience the threats of their
children's’ fathers taking the children away. We spoke about
how back then, you were supposed to get married and have
children, and how we tried to ignore our desires for women.
These
two are characters…. Patty is very fun and rough around
the edges, while Joanna is more reserved and dainty. When
they met Patty says, “I just wanted to sleep with her”.
There was not an immediate attraction for Joanna, but
Patty’s devotion and Patty attentiveness won Joanna over.
Little did either of them know they would fall in love and
27 years later they are still together.
When
asked…. What is the trick? How have you stayed together
for so long? They both readily agree that relationships
take work, there are always ups and downs and Patty explains,
“ Don’t worry about
the small stuff . After being together
for so long Joanna and I would pick fights with each other
about the stupidest things. Money, chores, shoot, we would
even fight over a beer bottle cap. Let the small stuff that
doesn’t matter… go”.
Dorothy
& Hallie
When
Dorothy met Hallie, it was not love at first site. Dorothy
says ,“ It took about three
months for us to even think about being friends. It was
like electricity had struck us both and neither she nor
I wanted to face the fact that we were more than friends.
Scary, you bet it was… Lesbians were not popular
in the 80’s ” .
And
like conversations with the other couples, Dorothy also
expresses her belief that having a good
balance between differences and similarities
are key. “ I am outgoing and she is
not. I am in the professional world and she is not. She
likes to do the things I do not and vice versa. We both
like our space. We have grown up together. Our likeness'
and our differences compliment each other”.
Again
I ask, what about passion? Are they still attracted to each
other, after all these years? Dorothy responds, “ Oh
yes, there is nothing better than looking at her and knowing
that I still crave her body and touch. Her physical attractiveness
is so powerful. She is more attractive to me now than when
we were baby lesbians.”
Each
couple expressed times of difficulties, sicknesses, family
matters and even going through “roommate” stages. Of Hallie’s
illness Dorothy say, “We know that our commitment
to each other is what got us through
the bad times. We fell back in love about three years ago
and even though it is still hard we work everyday to keep
our love alive”.
It
has been a pleasure getting to know such fabulous women.
And what is better, is that there are so many lesbian couples
whom have endured the trial and tribulations of a long term
relationship!
They
are our role models, our hero’s and our examples.
Special Thanks to Pat
& Irene, Joanna & Patty and to Dorothy & Hallie.
